How To Manage Time, Goals And Anxiety For Mumpreneurs In Ramadan

Being a mum can be particularly challenging in Ramadan. Just getting through each day with young children can be overwhelming for many. For mothers, fatigue is especially intense during Ramadan, as fasting coincides with the demands of being a parent. Many of us may overextend ourselves during this fasting month and neglect acts of self-care.

As a mother to two pre-teen boys, you would think that by now, I would have learned to manage my obligations and my well-being — but that's far from the truth.

Because this year, my Ramadan is different.

Anxiety is one of the signs of an overwhelmed Muslimah.

If you are experiencing a whole new environment of fasting as a mother, and also as a freelancer or small business owner, here are 5 tips for you to take care of yourself and make the most of this blessed month.

1. Acknowledge That Things Have Changed

I have spent all my life in the company of my beloved parents. When my dad and I sold our house and moved into different homes last year, I felt a sense of loss. As I was still making new living arrangements, my boys and I had to stay apart for some months - including the months of Ramadan and Syawal. Everything happened very quickly, and I still remember feeling ill-equipped in managing the transition.

When I spent Ramadan alone for the first time last year, I searched for ways to cope. And the first thing I did was to acknowledge that things have changed, that it will be challenging, and that is okay. In some ways, Ramadan is like the ultimate reset button. We are not only resetting our bodies, but also resetting our habits, the way we think, who we value, and why.

After I acknowledged the changes, I made a conscious effort to create space and establish boundaries for myself. I made a promise to myself to give 30 minutes every day to pause and reflect, and to emotionally recenter myself.

2. Tick Off Small Goals For Each Day

Having a daily checklist helps reduce productivity anxiety.

Setting daily goals can help us get motivated to make something positive out of each day. For me, I find that it's actually not so easy to plan and prepare meals for suhoor and iftar that's nutritious for my kids. (They were not used to breakfast what more pre-dawn meals.) It's also not so easy to schedule my daily activities to maximize good deeds without neglecting my other responsibilities. (Taking into consideration a slight shift in my sleeping patterns.)

That's when I realise that Ramadan can be the opportune time for a great reset and to evaluate priorities. Making a hefty master to-do list can be helpful. However, it can also cause anxieties when we are overly stressed or exhausted.

One effective way to stay balanced in our own expectations is to break apart that master to-do list into a daily checklist. This can include a content planner for social media posting, a schedule for Tarawih prayers and Quran recitation, daily reflection and gratitude journal, mood or sadaqah tracker, and even a food menu. With a daily action plan in place, it can be much easier to tick off small goals, which ultimately reduces time wastage and put our time during this blessed month into productive use.

3. Set A Routine And Stick To It

Just like how suhoor and iftar are pre-determined and important for a successful fasting cycle, our sleep schedule is just as important to be kept as close to the normal routine as possible. Having a familiar flow to our day, which includes a set bedtime and wake-up time, creates a sense of normalcy, which is necessary for both for children and adults' physical and mental health.

A change in sleep patterns for Ramadan can cause mood swings.

Consider adding a nap time to your daily routine. If you're a morning person, a longer mid-day nap of around 90 minutes to complete a full sleep cycle will help boost your energy level. If longer naps will make you wake up groggy, you will most likely benefit from a power nap of under 20 minutes.

If naps is not your thing, then reading is also a wonderful alternative disconnect from all the demands of the world. It can be reading the Quran or a self-development book; the idea here is to take some minutes for uninterrupted, guilt-less "Me-Time" and stick to it.

4. Take A Break From Caregiving

We know that practising sabr or patience is a significant objective in Ramadan. While fasting, the virtues of patience can be difficult to hold on to, when we forget that one of the main objectives of Ramadan is to build on and fortify our level of patience and tolerance.

From a mother's perspective, an easy way to remain patient is to remember that we perform our role for the sake of Allah swt, and that nothing should be taken to heart. Upon self-reflection, one of my shortcomings is the tendency to nag and scold my boys at the slightest dissatisfaction. To this day, I'm still learning to recognise triggers on the onset and practice ways to calm myself (and control my tongue) during stressful encounters.

Create a sacred space in your home for uninterrupted breaks.

That said, it is important to note that mothers are often the primary caregivers - and respite care is a very crucial aspect of caregiving. A mum rarely get that deserving break or short-term relief from parenting/caregiving. It is necessary that we give a little time alone with ourselves in silence every day. An easy way to introduce this into our daily routine is to create a sacred space in our home. Treat it as your walk-in sanctuary that you can retreat to at any time. Reaching out to able-bodied loved ones for a few hours a week to take a break is also another way to recover from mommy guilt after all that meltdown.

5. Look After Your Home

My last tip here - and one that I find the most delight in - is to cultivate the habit of sprucing up your home every day. I make it a point to leave my house spick and span in the morning, as I appreciate the feeling of being greeted by a neat and odourless abode after a long day out. I also love the feeling of appreciation from my boys when they come home to a clean and uncluttered home.

A clean and uncluterred home uplifts the mood for ibadah.

Here's some quick tips to enliven your space:

- declutter your living space and rearrange existing furniture

- scent your home with a diffuser or use a water-based room fragrance

- add new plants to add life and soul to your home

Cleaning and tidying the home can be very uplifting in Ramadan, as it sets the mood and ambience for ibadah that's focused and fulfilling. Your home is an extension of yourself, and looking after it well is important all year round.

I hope with these tips, you are able to find that bit of inner stillness, find your ground amidst the rush and chaos, and to feel calm and okay throughout this fasting month.

Here's wishing you a blessed and joyful Ramadan - one that we can find peace and fulfillment in. May He be pleased with our efforts and accept our good deeds. Aamiin.

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Elma relieves her anxiety tendencies by creating designs on Canva and watching funny cat videos. Her first essential oil is Geranium and she just can't go a day without iced milo. To connect with her on passion projects and content creation, email her at elma@thebarakahpeople.com

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Elma does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Any information published on this website, elmazessentials.com, or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional for anxiety before taking any action.